My 3 favorite moments on earth involve having my sons. Not necessarily the birth but bring each home and becoming that family, exhausted, rumpled clothes, disoriented family, but happy, whole family non the less. My two older are 18 months apart and with the third homecoming I had three 4 and under. I have a lot of experience with children, babies in particular, so the transition was actually pretty easy- if you don't consider that my house wasn't always 'company ready' and my hair looked kind of 'dreadlocky' some days. We were busy figuring out what worked for us and how to incorporate each little person into what equated to happiness for us.
Maybe you love kids but have not had a lot of experience with them. You might not even know how to set up a nursery, or what swaddling is, or the pro's of why you would get a stroller with the car seat attached. A new baby comes home and you have no idea what a normal schedule is, what a normal poop is, how many ounces (top and bottom end) is normal, or how to bathe a baby, or maybe ways to soothe them when they are just fussy or uncomfortable. You need help.
For first time parents, and those need a little help integrating a baby into a house with kids,sometimes it is better to bring a third party into your home to help out rather then have one of your mom's come in. I know family loves to help, and they can be great help, but often you need to have your wishes respected while still getting expert advice and valuable help. And, here is the tough part, you are establishing boundaries that a few families out there may need help with. If grandma comes to help, mom may decide that your newborn gets formula A, and should cry themselves to sleep, and whatever else it is that mom may believe in that most new parents usually get to make the decision about. Now non of those things are life threatening so may seem innocuous in the whole scheme of things but what some grandparents may take it as is the ability to continue to make decisions and have an input on without being asked. Once alpha dog is established it is often hard to break the habit without feelings being hurt.
By bringing a third party in you are getting the help that you need but they take their baggage with them when they leave. There isn't the possibility of you being questioned each time you make a decision, try something new, or junior is fussy as a precedence for looking to someone else has not been established except with that person that was sent home after you got your routine down.
You can call someone in to spend the week at your house, not to take care of the baby but to impart tips, techniques and knowledge while you do the care giving. This is an option for some parents depending on the personality and capability of the grandparents involved. New parents have enough going on so doing what works best for them should be priority. So they can enjoy that beautiful baby and become a family about what works best for them.
Drop me a line if I can help. You never have to see me again. ;)
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