Do not disconnect

My ipod is speaking to me. Like a dummy I plugged it in 'just to make sure' before my run this morning and 60 minutes later I am still looking at the flashing circle with the line through it (international 'don't' symbol) and losing my gumption to run. The first 30 minutes I looked at it, pissed at myself and then at it, and now I am beginning to see a more cosmic message involved. Is this speaking to me? Should I really be paying attention?

I have been in a funk lately. Hormones, lack of sun (yes I am solar powered) and life being overwhelming have all added to this. But now, looking at my ipod, I am wondering if the real funk has more to do with the lack of contact with my friends over the last couple of weeks. I am also friendship powered. Over the past three weeks I have had a big event I put on, and all that comes with leading up to it as well as the event and follow up after. I have had a few things going on with the kids. I have had an addition to some of my duties at work. And I am putting more time in on my job search as my contract is over in September. Wait, where is the friend piece? Have I become disconnected? My friends reinforce all that I believe I am to be. If they don't laugh am I really funny? If they don't agree with me that that person at work is a real tool then how am I to know that I am not the tool? If they aren't 'tsking' and commiserating with me when I can't believe one of my sons 'did this' or 'said that' then how do I know I am still in good mom standing? Yes, I do know all these things, and no, I do not NEED anyone to tell me that BUT and I do mean 'but' and not 'however', I value what my friends say, who they are, and any input they have. The reason I have chosen my 'fab five' is because I do value the women, mothers, wives, daughters, sisters and people they are. I love the ability to bounce things off them, even when they do say, 'Wow, Laurie, maybe you should have...'

Friendships are never hard work. Sometimes you need to make time for them and sometimes you need to think about what your friend really needs even when they aren't asking. So maybe thoughtful work, but never hard work. And you need to make sure you reach out.

Yes, my ipod is still flashing. And I believe I know the message it is sending me today.