Childhood in Iowa

I grew up in a Midwestern family that lived by the golden rule. Don't go to your mom and dad unless you were hemorrhaging or a limb was dangling from your small body. Not that my parents were mean or didn't care about us but it seemed it was a rule with all the families at the time. Feelings discussed- are you kidding? You didn't dare talk about a good grade or something special that happened - you were bragging and you did NOT discuss a bad grade or getting in trouble in school because in those days it was your fault, not the teachers, and there were consequences. Dinner time conversations only consisted of brother or sister wingmen distracting a parent long enough for someone to spit their mouthful of liver into their plastic cup of milk. the children in the house were always responsible for clearing the dishes and I was always surprised my parents didn't figure out why we so enthusiastically cleared the table on liver nights. Perhaps all that protein was immediately evident in our quicken step and enthusiastic trash emptying.

Numerous car rides consisted of my parents being so engrossed with 'adult' conversation that they were completely and utterly shocked when we would get to our location and non of us would be wearing shoes. Several car rides consisted of throwing shoes out the window and watching them bounce and the cars behind us swerve as they tried to figure out what was bouncing around towards them. We always started with the babies shoes and if a few minutes went by without my father proclaiming that he could still drive and hit us at the same time we would work our way up in the ranks. Those that couldn't talk couldn't squeal. The first time my parents just thought we all got in the car barefoot but the second time there was hell to pay but they still didn't witness the act. We lost a few dolls this way as well and although we were what you would have considered poor it was well worth the loss of a doll to see the head pop off and hit the grill of the poor car, as well as surprised occupants, behind us. Now in case you should think that we had the cleverness or naughtiness to think up this on our own, don't give us that much credit. Remember, processed sugar was a food group in the 60's and 70's, not many nutrients and therefor brain power in Lucky Charms, sugar and butter sandwiches, jello with coconut and celery, and every hostess product on earth as my mom got great deals at the day old bread store. No, our neighbors were to thank for the special idea of highway shoes. We loved to ride in their car as there was a hole in the floor of the backseat. As the months went by the hole got bigger and bigger and again, as adult conversations went on in the front seat, the kids, as long as we didn't laugh out loud, had free reign in the back seat. We dropped pennies down the hole, kept watch for road kill from the hole and eventually,as it always goes with kids, 'stupid' took over and someone was dared to stick their foot down and touch the ground. Of course it had to be a 'big' kid but not so big that the brain had developed too much. Ben, one of the car owners kids was finally cajolled into this daring, but stupid, act. He must have been about 7. Carefully and slowly he lowered his foot down, barely touched his toe to pavement only to have his foot shoot back up slam on the edge of the hole and his shoe to pop off and back down and on the road. At least neighbor dad was aware enough to hear the bouncing on the bottom of the car as the shoe ricocheted from road to undercarriage and then shoot out the back. We got a firm, 'You kids knock it off back there' Ben was just smart enough to take off his other shoe and arrive barefoot at our location. We really didn't need shoes until there was snow anyway. I think that is the real reason seat belts were invented, not a safety issue as far as a car accident goes but more so a safety practice of being able to tie the kids up in the back and therefore reduce the ability to cause trouble.

My husband and I, he a Midwesterner as well, bucked the system and used car time as talking to the kids time. After all, we had captive audiences, they were strapped in by seat belts. Thank goodness our kids were born in the late 80's, early 90's as we actually had a full decade plus of talking in the car until hand held games and cell phones came into play. Just when you get full of yourself for what you consider improved parenting kids still figure out a way to get involved in shenanigans.