This whole transition in life is pretty new to me. I have been kind of weird about always knowing where I was going or if I didn't know I was content in the fact that where ever life took me things would work out great and if they didn't I was in charge of my own destination and could change what I didn't like and there were times that I did. Does being 48 change all this? Does knowing that the part of my life that I wanted to do, being a mother and raising a family, is over and never to return again change how I look at my future? Do I even want big goals?
I know that I will be fine and that life is good. This is a comfort but at the same time I have never had so many questions in my life, even getting out of high school or college. I KNEW that the world was my oyster and I had a million wonderful choices. I should feel this way again.
The title says being me and being the nicer version and what I mean by that has nothing to do with me not being nice. I think I would just like to try an experiment and every day, and I do mean every day, I want to pay it forward in some way. Maybe because I have so many questions and am looking around for answers I am seeing the world differently but what I am seeing is that there is a lack of thinking of others. I think our world has become very me oriented and narcissistic and our lack of manners and maybe knowledge of how things should be done is making us the ugly Americans other countries sometimes accuse us of. Are we? Today at the grocery store I witnessed a woman yelling for her child. She saw him, it was not a dangerous situation she just wanted him to come to her and was yelling all the way down the aisle for several minutes for him to do so. Is this the norm for public behavior? Do we allow this and much worse because we are afraid of reactions? My daily goal is to comment positively to someone each and every day. Will pointing out the good in people encourage that behavior and encourage me to look for the good?
We shall see.
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