Job Offer

I think I have lost my mind. I got a job offer, yes in this economy, and turned it down.!?!?  It was a decent job, it wasn't that I didn't like it or felt I couldn't do it. It was a program manager position managing 3 offices and 12 employees.  It sounded interesting and I had done each component of the position at some point in my career. I was comfortable I could do a great job.   The position was challenging and would add to my job skills and update some areas of my resume that needed updating.  Wow, the more I type the crazier I sound. The problem with the position is that they offered me 25% less then I am making right now and there was no room for growth.  For a management position with much more responsibility!!  When the offer was made I thought it was a starting point for negotiating and started what was a process that was the norm 5 years ago I had the door shut in my face and told that was the highest they could go and they were sorry I wasn't able to take the position at that salary.  Click.

Now, although I am employed and it looks as thought my current employer might offer me a similar position, I am on a contract and it ends soon.  I am starting to stress.  That was a bird in the hand as opposed to all the birds in the bush out there. Now mind you, the bird was skeletal, but it was a bird.  5 years ago I would have thought that was highway robbery and I knew my worth and would not think twice about it.  Now.....well we all know that has all changed.

Friends encouraged me to take the job and keep looking but I couldn't do it.  As a former manager I know how much you invest in an employee in training and I just can't see letting someone do that and me turn around and accept something else a few months later, or for that matter just do my day to day job knowing that I was looking for something better.  I am just not like that. I know it happens but I couldn't see going into a job with that as the plan.

The funny thing about this stress is that this whole process is what I do for a living.  Did I do what I would recommend to my client?  Would I tell my client to take the job?  Why am I so calm about their process, why do I negotiate so much better when it isn't my career?   Another case of  Physician, heal thyself.

I am one of those weirdos who believe in Karma, God, and whatever it is that makes a life has always worked out for me and my husband in the manner that we may not know why something happened to us, we may suffer for it happening, but have found that 2, 4 or 10 years down the road we ended up in a better place because of the 'terrible' happening in our life.  But that doesn't take away the stress I am feeling now.

There are great jobs out there, I have recently interviewed for a few and will keep the good thoughts as much as I can knowing that 1000 qualified people are applying to each of the positions that I am qualified in applying for.

Tomorrow is a new day.  I am keeping the faith. I  am thinking positive thoughts.

But I wouldn't mind if a few more prayers and positive thoughts came my way.