Sunday, December 1, 2013
Living the Dream
Another writer friend- ok, she is the writer I am just the wanna be- put it out there that she wanted to hear from her friends that were 'living the dream' as far as their careers were concerned as she wanted to get their feelings and input as to what they had to do in order to get where they were. Talk about funk inducing. I couldn't respond to her as I am not one of those I would have considered to be in my dream job. I wanted to respond to her, I racked my brain with areas that I could expand on ( read: make shit up) in order to satisfy this desire to be 'living the dream' in a career sense. Then the self abuse started and the gloves came out: I shouldn't have excuses, what I am waiting for, the only person that is stopping me is me.
Then I settled down.
I made the decision to stay home with my sons when they were born. I did that with a happy heart and spring in my step. I wanted to get spit up on, and be the one who got up in the night every night when they were sick, clean the pee off the ....oh, never mind..... what can I say about boys. I was able to take walks around the block that took two hours because we had to stop and say hello and name every bug we 'met'. I was able to kiss sweaty little heads when they fell asleep in the car on the way home from errands and I took a book out and sat with them so they could get a good nap in.
I do have a good job now. I enjoy what I am doing to a large extent. I work for a great organization. And......I am the one who is earning the money that allows us the ability one son to Santa Clara University and one son to Boston University and one son to Bellarmine College Preparatory. Am I paying for it all on my salary? Nope, but I am able to make enough for us to make it work with a few scholarships and loans. I am able to get health, dental, vision and life insurance. The job I am working in today and the choices that I am making today allow my sons to do what they are doing now and giving them the ability to dream too. I am knocking something off my bucket list in helping them get great educations.
Yes, I would like to be a wildly successful corporate social responsibility manager/writer/personal shopper-stylist. But...... right now I am not. I am still dreaming and taking baby steps in the direction of those things because some day my bills won't be as large as they are today.
And no, this is not a stay at home vs working mom debate. Some of us do what we have to do, some of us do what works best for us, and some of us do a variety because there is no right or wrong answer. This was the right decision for me........But, if there was something I could have changed it would have been this: As much as I thrived on being with my kids when they were babies/toddlers/small children, if I could change anything it would have been to start working just a few hours a week in a position related to what I dreamed of doing. So what if it paid nothing if I could work from 10-2 or from home if it kept my skills up to date or gave me new skills. I was lucky in that I volunteered and worked on non profit and school boards and was active in my kids schools which also gave me some skills but I coulda/shoulda been more focused on where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do when we were all grown up.
Am I living the dream? Yeah.... I am. My sons are all awesome people, not just awesome sons, but awesome people. I have a family that loves and supports me. Great friends. And yes, at almost 50 I am still allowing myself to dream.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Planning your day. What are you reaching for?
We have all heard or seen the eye opening narrative where the professor uses two of the same glass receptacles and in one places the sand {the small everyday- mundane items in your life that need attention} then puts in the rocks {the larger items in our life that need attention- the house, finances, etc} and then doesn't have room for the larger rocks {the more important things like family, health, friends.} He then explains how you put the large rocks in first as they are the most important then the rocks will fill in the spaces around those and then the sand will then fill in the smaller holes around the large rocks and small rocks. The exercise illustrates how we can make everything fit into our lives if we just take care of what is important first and let everything else fill in around that.
It is as enlightening as it is practical and brimming with common sense. Very similar to the reason I re read my favorite parenting books over as I knew hat was in there and what worked but sometimes I just needed the refresher.
Now this also applies to work and might again be something we all know but just don't follow through with as the 'sand' tends to be what grabs our attention moment to moment. I once knew of a ED who advised employees to grab the 'low hanging fruit' when managing their time during the day. I operate, and have done Executive Training, that says that the opposite is is what you should be reaching for. Do not do the easy tasks first. If you want to accomplish as much as possible start off with your list of big rocks- the projects, the reports, the deadlines. Then list your little rocks- your meetings, next weeks meetings, and deadlines. And then your sand- your e-mails, the little to do list, etc. You will have time for it all. Just like the receptacle was big enough.
Start early. When you are there at 7 or 7:30 and close your door, it gives you time to attack the 'rocks' before the interruptions start. If you need a break between the big projects or 'big rocks' hit a few of the smaller rocks in between. You can also jump to the smaller rocks as the day winds down and you might not have the focus or patience as you did earlier in the day. Transfer any over to your list for the next day- again- big rocks first and small rocks next. I actually list my to do's under Big Rocks/Small Rocks/ Sand. Read your e-mails 4-5 times a day and answer them and address the task then and there. If you can't answer or take care of the task add that to your 'to do' list for the end of your day or the next day. Delete, file away and throw away. After 15 to 20 minutes with your e-mails or small tasks make a point to go back to your 'big rocks and little rocks' Check them off as you go. What you don't complete you add to your list for the following day. Know that your small rocks will become bigger rocks as deadlines approach. Know that you won't complete your list daily but you will complete more tasks on that list then if you did not have the list. And know that low hanging fruit is not what you want to be reaching for.
It is as enlightening as it is practical and brimming with common sense. Very similar to the reason I re read my favorite parenting books over as I knew hat was in there and what worked but sometimes I just needed the refresher.
Now this also applies to work and might again be something we all know but just don't follow through with as the 'sand' tends to be what grabs our attention moment to moment. I once knew of a ED who advised employees to grab the 'low hanging fruit' when managing their time during the day. I operate, and have done Executive Training, that says that the opposite is is what you should be reaching for. Do not do the easy tasks first. If you want to accomplish as much as possible start off with your list of big rocks- the projects, the reports, the deadlines. Then list your little rocks- your meetings, next weeks meetings, and deadlines. And then your sand- your e-mails, the little to do list, etc. You will have time for it all. Just like the receptacle was big enough.
Start early. When you are there at 7 or 7:30 and close your door, it gives you time to attack the 'rocks' before the interruptions start. If you need a break between the big projects or 'big rocks' hit a few of the smaller rocks in between. You can also jump to the smaller rocks as the day winds down and you might not have the focus or patience as you did earlier in the day. Transfer any over to your list for the next day- again- big rocks first and small rocks next. I actually list my to do's under Big Rocks/Small Rocks/ Sand. Read your e-mails 4-5 times a day and answer them and address the task then and there. If you can't answer or take care of the task add that to your 'to do' list for the end of your day or the next day. Delete, file away and throw away. After 15 to 20 minutes with your e-mails or small tasks make a point to go back to your 'big rocks and little rocks' Check them off as you go. What you don't complete you add to your list for the following day. Know that your small rocks will become bigger rocks as deadlines approach. Know that you won't complete your list daily but you will complete more tasks on that list then if you did not have the list. And know that low hanging fruit is not what you want to be reaching for.
Monday, April 29, 2013
How to Organize your Closet and Edit at the Same Time.
If you have never walked into a packed closet and still not found anything to wear then you can stop reading now. You have it covered. You are good to go. You are Wonder Woman and wear the same star bedazzled bustier and red shorts every day. You go girl. If you are one of us mere mortals and have a completely packed closet yet you either wear the same 6 outfits over and over or you never feel put together then keep reading. Hopefully you will learn from my obsessive compulsive behavior without having to actually have it in your brain.
Now let me explain editing if you don't know, All of us need to from time to time, go through our closet and pull out all those items you never wear or make you feel less then good when wearing that item. We have too many things that could happen to us during the day to leave the house feeling less then beautiful. If you are like me and raised with the 'don't waste' theme running through your head then know when you donate an item it will go to good use. Maybe it will be special for someone else.
First of all, take everything out of your closet and clean and dust. Now you have a clean closet and that feels good right there. Buy a few pretty big boxes for storage, cedar balls/planks, and air fresheners and spread throughout your closet. Keep it fresh smelling and moth free from the get go. You might need more items but this is a start.
Now decide where you will be rehanging and shelving items. All long sleeve tops should go in one area, all short sleeve tops in another and so forth. You should have a section for top- broken into long and short sleeves, pants, skirts-again, long and short, suites, jackets, sweaters, and dresses. Then you should have a readily accessible area that you keep empty for now.
Start with one item. If it is in season hang it back in your closet in one of your designated areas. Pick up the next item and hang it in the correct area. As you go, make sure you are keeping items color coordinated. All your black, long sleeved tops should be together, all your red long sleeve tops should be together, etc, etc.
When you come to an item you don't wear and would never wear, now is the time to put it in the donation or giveaway pile. Now, I am realistic, I know there are items you don't wear that you really aren't going to get rid of but we will get back to that. When you come to an items, such as a wool pair of pants and it is June then pull out one of your pretty boxes and place neatly in the box. You should only have items that are wearable in that particular season in your closet. The rest goes in your plastic/fabric boxes for storage on the top shelf or somewhere else.
Once you have all your items in your closet, or in your seasonal storage bins, and organized pull out your stylist bags and put outfits together for the next couple of weeks. Pull out a pair of pants you have not worn for a while and find a top that you have not worn for a while that matches and put together. Make sure each item is clean and mended and ready to wear. If not, take care of it. Now, with your stylist bags, complete those outfits by adding undergarments that work, jewelry that works-hopefully items that you don't wear weekly, belts, scarfs and shoes or boots. All this fits in the stylist bags and you can then hang them on the hanger with your top/bottom/dress. Hang this set in your free area in your closet that we talked about earlier. Keep doing this until you have at least 7-8 outfits all set and ready to go in your closet. You won't believe how much time this will save you when a few minutes count in the morning but more importantly you are actually using all the clothes in your closet. When you have 7-8 outfits you have choices in the morning, even when it comes to Friday.
Now comes the key. When you launder these outfits and return them to your closet hang them back up always in the right section to the right in each color coded section. When doing it this way you will find out what clothes you actually truly wear or don't wear as it will always be on the left. When a few months have passed and you have not worn an item then make sure you put together outfits with items on the left. If, after putting together an outfit and hanging it in your 'to wear' section you are still not wearing it it is time to part with that item. Another reason to part with that item is if when you wear it you don't feel good in it. Life is too short to wear things that don't make you feel good, not matter what the cost. Now, let's say you love a top but all the skirts/pants/bottoms don't work then add what will work to your 'to get' list. Now, as you are shopping you know what you need to round out your closet.
I know this has been long winded but by following these tips you will have, and keep, an organized closet AND, even bigger, you will know what you are wearing in your closet and what you really won't wear so you can remove it for good and either make more room altogether or make room for other things you love. Huge time saver as well as an easy way to edit without feeling as though you would wear something if given the right circumstances. Sound like a familiar conversation you have had with yourself? Yeah, me too.
So, get started today, it is actually the perfect timing as your spring/summer clothes can stay out and your winter clothes can be put away. If you need help, either sylist bags or help in organizing, give me a call. I am happy to help.
Now let me explain editing if you don't know, All of us need to from time to time, go through our closet and pull out all those items you never wear or make you feel less then good when wearing that item. We have too many things that could happen to us during the day to leave the house feeling less then beautiful. If you are like me and raised with the 'don't waste' theme running through your head then know when you donate an item it will go to good use. Maybe it will be special for someone else.
First of all, take everything out of your closet and clean and dust. Now you have a clean closet and that feels good right there. Buy a few pretty big boxes for storage, cedar balls/planks, and air fresheners and spread throughout your closet. Keep it fresh smelling and moth free from the get go. You might need more items but this is a start.
Now decide where you will be rehanging and shelving items. All long sleeve tops should go in one area, all short sleeve tops in another and so forth. You should have a section for top- broken into long and short sleeves, pants, skirts-again, long and short, suites, jackets, sweaters, and dresses. Then you should have a readily accessible area that you keep empty for now.
Start with one item. If it is in season hang it back in your closet in one of your designated areas. Pick up the next item and hang it in the correct area. As you go, make sure you are keeping items color coordinated. All your black, long sleeved tops should be together, all your red long sleeve tops should be together, etc, etc.
When you come to an item you don't wear and would never wear, now is the time to put it in the donation or giveaway pile. Now, I am realistic, I know there are items you don't wear that you really aren't going to get rid of but we will get back to that. When you come to an items, such as a wool pair of pants and it is June then pull out one of your pretty boxes and place neatly in the box. You should only have items that are wearable in that particular season in your closet. The rest goes in your plastic/fabric boxes for storage on the top shelf or somewhere else.
Once you have all your items in your closet, or in your seasonal storage bins, and organized pull out your stylist bags and put outfits together for the next couple of weeks. Pull out a pair of pants you have not worn for a while and find a top that you have not worn for a while that matches and put together. Make sure each item is clean and mended and ready to wear. If not, take care of it. Now, with your stylist bags, complete those outfits by adding undergarments that work, jewelry that works-hopefully items that you don't wear weekly, belts, scarfs and shoes or boots. All this fits in the stylist bags and you can then hang them on the hanger with your top/bottom/dress. Hang this set in your free area in your closet that we talked about earlier. Keep doing this until you have at least 7-8 outfits all set and ready to go in your closet. You won't believe how much time this will save you when a few minutes count in the morning but more importantly you are actually using all the clothes in your closet. When you have 7-8 outfits you have choices in the morning, even when it comes to Friday.
Now comes the key. When you launder these outfits and return them to your closet hang them back up always in the right section to the right in each color coded section. When doing it this way you will find out what clothes you actually truly wear or don't wear as it will always be on the left. When a few months have passed and you have not worn an item then make sure you put together outfits with items on the left. If, after putting together an outfit and hanging it in your 'to wear' section you are still not wearing it it is time to part with that item. Another reason to part with that item is if when you wear it you don't feel good in it. Life is too short to wear things that don't make you feel good, not matter what the cost. Now, let's say you love a top but all the skirts/pants/bottoms don't work then add what will work to your 'to get' list. Now, as you are shopping you know what you need to round out your closet.
I know this has been long winded but by following these tips you will have, and keep, an organized closet AND, even bigger, you will know what you are wearing in your closet and what you really won't wear so you can remove it for good and either make more room altogether or make room for other things you love. Huge time saver as well as an easy way to edit without feeling as though you would wear something if given the right circumstances. Sound like a familiar conversation you have had with yourself? Yeah, me too.
So, get started today, it is actually the perfect timing as your spring/summer clothes can stay out and your winter clothes can be put away. If you need help, either sylist bags or help in organizing, give me a call. I am happy to help.
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